Infographic How To Use Your Breaks To Be More Productive

Infographic How To Use Your Breaks To Be More Productive Infographic How To Use Your Breaks To Be More ProductivePosted February 27, 2017, by Zahra Campbell-AvenellTaking regular breaks can do wonders for your productivity. Countless studies have demonstrated that even short diversions from a task can dramatically improve your performance. If you think about it, Newton discovered gravity while relaxing under a tree, Archimedes was chilling out in the bathtub when he had his Eureka moment, and Einstein came up with the theory of relativity while riding his bicycle. So what you do while youre not working is just as important if not more as what you do while youre working.It might sound crazy, but science has shown that looking at adorable kitten and puppy pictures, listening to music while you work and exercising even just at your desk can increase your productivity. Here are 16 other ways to use your breaks to get a productivity boostSource Quid CornerSourcesHarness, J. (20 16). The Importance of Breaks At Work. lifehack.org Johansson, A. (2015). Can Creative Breaks Boost Your Employees Productivity?. entrepreneur.com Career Concepts. (2016). How to Take A Real Break. careerconceptsinc.com Schwarz, T. (2010). The 90-Minute Solution. huffingtonpost.com tom.james.watson. (2016). Break Timer. chrome.google.com Marinara Timer. (2016). Marinara Timer. marinaratimer.com EyeLeo. (2015). EyeLeo. eyeleo.com The Muse. (2016). Take Five 51 Things to Do When You Need a Break at Work. themuse.com Cirillo Company. (2016). Things To Do In Your 5 Minutes Break. cirillocompany.de Tyagarajan. (2016). How Solving the Rubiks Cube can make your Brain Sharper. chalkstreet.com The Muse. (2016). Take Five 51 Things to Do When You Need a Break at Work. themuse.com teddy boy. Let us surprise you.ted.com Patel, N. (2014). When, How, and How Often to Take a Break. inc.com Gordon, J. (2014). 10 Fun Things To Do During Your Lunch Break.linkedin.com Mitchell, H. (2013). Making the M ost of Your Lunch Hour. wsj.com Nikitina, A. (2016). 21 Counter-Intuitive Break Ideas to Boost Your Productivity at Work. lifehack.org Oaklander, M. (2015). 10 Deskercises You Can Do at Work. time.com Kim, L. (2016). 4 Must-Watch Inspirational TED Talks on Creativity in Business. inc.com ResourcesMy first resumeCover letter for my first jobCareer Insider StoriesShelley Lask - Body Positive Health & FitnessInterested in becoming a?Human Resources OfficerGeneral ManagerBusiness ManagerAccountantOffice AdministratorPopular Career Searcheseffective oral and written communication skillsattention to detail skillsdefine communication skills11 top tips for effective time managementhow to demonstrate high literacy and numeracy skills CoursesBachelor of Social WorkEnquire Online Enquire OnlineCertificate III in Health AdministrationEnquire Online Enquire OnlineBachelor of Criminal JusticeEnquire Online Enquire OnlineCertificate III in Allied Health AssistanceEnquire Online Enquire Online Zahr a Campbell-AvenellZahra started writing at the age of 6, and hasnt stopped since. When shes not creating content about careers, learning and personal development, you can find her researching her next travel adventure, bingeing on Netflix or shopping online.Related ArticlesBrowse moreDesignDigital Media10 jobs that the world wide web createdThe internet may have made some occupations redundant but did you know it has created more jobs than it has made obsolete? This week Julia looks at some of the new roles that have been spun in the world wide web.Career progressionGenerations in the workforce8 Career-Defining Moves To Make In Your 20sDont throw away your twenties, hoping that stuff will work itself out. Claim this defining decade of your life and set your career up for later lifePay packets on the riseThe results are in from the 2008 Hays Salary Survey and, fortunately for employees, it looks like wages are on the up and up, especially if you are in the right state, the right indu stry and the right job.

Recruiters Arent a Finishing School

Recruiters Arent a Finishing SchoolRecruiters Arent a Finishing SchoolRecruiters dont work for you and they dont have to help you, but they can be a valuable resource to help you be the right candidate for the job.There are a few things you should know about recruiters before you work with them.Recruiters measure of success is filling open positions, not getting people hired.Theyre not there to be a finishing school for candidates. Theyre paid by hiring companies to find the right candidate, not to make you the right candidate.No one knows better than the recruiter what the hiring company wants in a candidate.Put together, recruiters dont work for you and they dont have to help you, but they can be a valuable resource to help you be the right candidate for the job. And fruchtwein are willing to help do that. While not a finishing school, fruchtwein good recruiters can recognize a candidate with all the right pieces and help polish them for presentation to the hiring company, said Lyn n Hazan, founder of Chicago-based Lynn Hazan and Associates.Hazan goes further than most recruiters. For the right candidates, the search firm does extensive career coaching and counseling and offers tools designed to help candidates adjust to a cutthroat job market. Their special focus is on changing the candidates attitude and flexibility.We have candidates whove been laid off after years and years at a company, and we also have entry-level candidates whove never held a corporate position before, she said. But we emphasize the market conditions, and help them realize that they cant bully their way into a position, so to speak, no matter what their experience, credentials, who they know.In the current buyers market, where hiring companies have plenty of good candidates from which to choose, hiring managers have grown more selective. In such a situation, a candidate might possess all but one required element and help in adding that element or a positive, accommodating attitude can o ften win the day, said Hazan.It can be a tough pill to swallow that companies have so much leverage, she said. If a candidate doesnt want the job or is not a perfect fit, there can be hundreds of other applicants whod be happy to snap it up.Practice, Practice, PracticeWhat can be trickiest for job hunters is simply that they dont get much practice using their preparation, search and interviewing skills, Hazan said. Hazan finds that most candidates dont interview or even apply for jobs on a daily basis, and therefore have a tentative understanding of what works in a search and/or interview and what does not. She said that many are also struggling with time management and making a job search strategic rather than just applying to various positions on a whim.Keeping accurate records of your job applications, contacts and the various recruiting professionals you work with, and managing those relationships as though it were your job, is key, Hazan said.Practice is important, and keeping your interview skills well oiled, so to speak, is extremely important nowadays, she said. Its no longer a situation where you can just throw a bunch of resumes out there and see what sticks.Hazan and Associates specializes in marketing and communications professionals, a field you would expect to be replete with candidates skilled at self-promotion. Not so said Hazan.Its a lot easier to market and communicate about something - a product, a service - outside of yourself, she said. For candidates, looking internally to identify strengths and weaknesses can be difficult. So Hazan said she makes sure to bring candidates into the feedback loop after theyve interviewed and been critiqued by the hiring company.We give them tips on how they came across to the interviewer that includes their resume, their professional demeanor, their speaking skills and, of course, overall attitude.

Customize this Outstanding Human Service Worker Resume Sample

Customize this Outstanding Human Service Worker Resume SampleCustomize this Outstanding Human Service Worker Resume SampleCreate Resume Amanda Best100 Broadway LaneNew Parkland, CA, 91010Cell (555) 987-1234emailleexample.comProfessional Summary Caring Human Service Worker with experience in assisting clients to obtain needed services, including housing, mental health, medical and financial. Extensive case management experience with marginalized and at-risk populations. Insider knowledge of community resources.Core QualificationsCase ManagementNeeds AssessmentIntake ProceduresTreatment PlanningResource ReferralRisk AssessmentProgress NotesDocumentationExperienceHuman Services Worker, March 2011 March 2015New Parkland Office of Human Services New Parkland, CACarried a complex caseload of approximately 20 at-risk clients.Completed intake and assessments in order to best determine needs.Assisted clients in obtaining needed resources, provided counseling and taught daily living skills. Wrote progress notes, communicated with outside agency personnel and assisted clients in making/keeping regular appointments.Human Services worker, June 2007 March 2011Parkland County Social Services Department New Parkland, CAOversaw caseload of 15 homeless families.Assisted clients in obtaining shelter through agency resources and outside programs.Linked clients with community resources such as financial assistance, substance abuse counseling, psychotherapy, job skills training and higher education.Wrote detailed treatment plans, progress reports and other client documentation.Education2007 Master of Social WorkNew Parkland University New Parkland, CACustomize ResumeHuman Service Worker Resume Questions1. What is the best design for a philanthropisch service worker resume?With a career in human services, youll have a professional, public-facing job. Show that youre ready to fill that role by creating polished, professional application documents in the style of our human service worker resume sample. If you need more step-by-step guidance to develop your resume, our customized resume builder can help make the process effortless.2. What do you put on a human service worker resume for your first job?If you have studied human services, social work, or a related field in college but have little or no work experience in this area, focus your resume on your learning experiences, as well as any internships you have completed. If you have previously worked in a different field, follow the basic outline of the human service worker resume sample, but emphasize relevant, transferable skills that will help you succeed in your new occupation.3. Whats the best length for a human service worker resume?If you have extensive work experience going back more than 10 years, its expected that your resume will be two or even three pages long. If, however, your employment history in the field of human services is less than 10 years, try to keep it to a single page. In any case, you should follow the classic outline presented in the human service worker resume sample header, professional summary, qualifications, experience, and education. No matter how many entries you have in your work history and education sections, focus on main points, keywords, and specific accomplishments. Dont be long-winded.4. Whats the best format for a resume PDF, MS Word, or txt?If youre submitting your resume online, check the job description for instructions on how the company wants it presented. Sometimes youll need to email your documents but not include attachments. If this is the case, you will need to copy and paste your resume into the body of the email. In other cases, the instructions may be to use a specific file format. If you arent directed to use a particular file type, but youre concerned about preserving the formatting so the result looks like the human service worker resume sample, try creating a PDF or using rich text.5. What should you include about your accomp lishments on your human service worker resume?First, think about the difference between a job responsibility and an accomplishment. You may have the responsibility of answering phones, but does that feel like an accomplishment? Dig a little deeper, and you may find that mastering a switchboard or fielding phone calls from care providers, officials, and clients all in the same day feel more like accomplishments than simply answering the phone. Did your work increase client satisfaction, enable more people to enroll in a particular service, or streamline paperwork for a certain recurring task? Those are the types of things you should include as accomplishments, especially if you have numbers to back up your claims. Begin each eintrag with a verb, as demonstrated in the human service worker resume sample.

7 ways to make difficult conversations easy

7 ways to make difficult conversations easy 7 ways to make difficult conversations easy Someone is screaming in your face at the top of their lungs.  Or ranting angrily and you can’t get a word in edgewise. Or maybe they’re sobbing so hard  you can barely understand what they’re saying.We’ve all been there. These situations don’t happen a lot (thank god) but we all feel helpless when they do. And because they’re rare we don’t ever seem to get better at handling them.Problem is, these moments are often critical because they’re usually with people we care about.What’s the best way to handle these difficult conversations? What works?I called someone who knows:  Dr. Albert J. Bernstein.  He’s a clinical psychologist with over 40 years of experience and the author of a number of great books  on dealing with people problems:Dinosaur Brains: Dealing with All Those Impossible People at WorkAm I The Only Sane One Working Here?: 101 Solutions for Surviving Office InsanityEmotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You DryHere’s what you’ll learn in t his post: The magic phrase that gets people to stop yelling. How to stop making the most common mistake  in these kind of discussions. How to switch people from being emotional to being rational. The mindset  that makes dealing with hysterical people easy. And a lot more. Okay, time to wage war with the crazy. Here we go…1. First, you need to keep calmYou already have one person overreacting. The worst thing would be to have  two  people overreacting.  If you Hulk Out, it’s little  more than a screaming match and nothing gets accomplished.Al calls the emotional side of our mind  the “dinosaur brain.” It’s millions of years old and only understands “fight” or “run away.”If you stay calm, you can help someone escape  its grip. But if you fall prey to it too, it results in what he likes to call the “Godzilla meets Rodan” effect: lots of yelling, buildings get knocked down but nothing constructive gets accomplished.  Here’s Al:…the basic idea is that in many situations, you’re reacting with instincts programmed into your dinosaur brain, rather than thinking through a situation. If you’re in your dinosaur brain, you’re going to play out a 6 million-year-old program, and nothing good  is going to happen. In that case, the din osaur brain of the other person is going to understand that they are being attacked, and then you’re responding with fighting back or running away, and either one is going to escalate the situation into what I like to call the “Godzilla meets Rodan” effect. There’s a lot of screaming and yelling, and buildings fall down, but not much is accomplished.What to do here? Monitor your arousal levels  and do your best to stay calm. He said the same thing about dealing with stress that Harvard researcher  Shawn Achor  did:  see problems as challenges instead of crises.(To learn how Samurai and Navy SEALs keep calm in difficult situations, click  here.)Okay, you’re cool as Fonzie. But they’re still  acting crazy. What’s the best strategy here?2. Treat them like a childNo, I don’t mean be condescending. But  you wouldn’t try to rationalize with a screaming child. And you wouldn’t get angry with them for yelling. You’d just dismiss the hysterics and deal with the underlyi ng problem.Adults aren’t any different. (Yes, this is both very insightful and extraordinarily depressing.  Welcome to Earth.)Trying to logically explain why yelling isn’t helping doesn’t work with three-year-olds and it won’t work with grown-ups either. Ignore the drama.If you’re a parent, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Shift into  dealing-with-your-kid  mode and watch magic happen. Al literally says “If you feel like a preschool teacher, you’re probably doing it right.”  Here’s Al:People say to me all the time, “You mean I have to treat a grown-up like a three-year-old?” I say, “Yes, absolutely.” If you’re a parent, what do you do with a tantrum? You ignore it, or at least you try to ignore it. But with an adult you try and talk them out of it, and it never works.(To learn the ten rules to communicating more effectively, click  here.)So you’re calm and you’re not letting them get to you because you see them like a big kid. But how do you stop the yelling, crying or screaming?3.  â€œPlease speak more slowly. I’d like to help.”Anything that slows the situation down is good for you.One of Al’s first jobs was working with violently psychotic people in an institution. He quickly realized that slow means calm and calm means thinking vs reacting.(What’s interesting is my friend  Chris, who was the Lead International Hostage Negotiator for the FBI, often recommends  the same thing:  slow the conversation down.)So how do you get someone to stop yelling? Your natural reaction is actually the  worst thing to do. Saying,  â€œStop yelling” will be seen as telling them what to do. Nobody likes to be told what to do, especially angry people.Instead,  Al says  try a variation of:  â€œPlease speak more slowly. I’d like to help.”Why does this work?  It breaks the pattern in their head.They’re expecting you to resist them but you’re not. You’re asking them to clarify. You’re interested. This makes them shift mor e out of “dinosaur brain” and into thinking. And that’s good.(And have you ever tried yelling slowly? Good luck with that.)The same principle  works on the phone too: you want to snap  them out of that pattern without being seen as fighting back.  Al calls it the “uh-huh rule.”When they pause to take a breath on the phone, don’t say anything. After enough silence, they’ll probably respond with, “Are you there?”That speedbump pulls them out of the angry momentum for a second and makes them think practically.  Here’s Al:When somebody is talking to you on the phone and they stop to take a breath, your natural reaction is to say, “uh-huh.” It’s kind of a universal thing. We don’t realize that we’re doing it. But if you go three breaths without saying “uh-huh”, the other person will stop and say, “Are you there?” We tried that so many times, and it was just amazing how well it worked. What I’ve just given you there is a way to interrupt somebody wh o’s yelling at you on the phone without saying a word. Just don’t say “uh-huh.”(For tips from an FBI behavioral expert on how to make people like you, click  here.)They’re not yelling anymore. But that doesn’t mean they’re not angry and it doesn’t mean you’re making any real progress.  What turns  raving crazy people into rational adults you can talk to?4.  Ask “What would you like me to do?”Slowing it down is great. And so is seeing them as a child. What’s the next big strategy? You need to get them thinking.Anything that moves  them from emotionally reacting to consciously thinking is good.  Here’s Al:When people are angry at you or attacking you, it’s very easy to fight back or run away, but  what you really need to do is something that engages their brain.And  that isn’t too hard, actually. Ask them, “What would you like me to do?”They need to formulate an answer. That makes them think - even for a second - and you’re on your way to turning the Hulk back into Bruce Banner.  Here’s Al:Once you get the person to stop yelling, you say, “What would you like me to do?” The person has to stop and think at that point. What you want is to move an angry situation toward the possibility of negotiating. You can do that by simply asking, “What would you like me to do?” It moves them from their dinosaur brain to their cortex, and then negotiating is possible.(For more on dealing with irrational, angry or just plain crazy people, click  here.)You’re calm. They’re not yelling and they’re starting to think instead of just acting like an emotional grenade. So how do you keep things moving in the right direction?5. Don’t make statements. Ask questions.Another huge, huge error we all make: we explain.  Don’t explain.  Why?The other person will interpret it as a veiled form of fighting back. You know why? Because it  is  a veiled form of fighting back.It’s the polite way of saying, “Here’s why I’m right and you ’re wrong.” And  everybody sees it for what it is. So cut it out.  Here’s Al:Explaining is almost always a disguised form of fighting back. Most explanations will be heard as, “See here, if you really understand the situation, you will see that I am right and you are wrong.” That is an attack, and it’s also one of the ways we achieve dominance over other people. We act as if we just explain our position really clearly, then the other person will understand and agree with us. I’ve never really seen that work.So what do you do?  Ask questions.  Here’s Al:One of the main rules that I say to people is  if you want to get along with people, ask don’t tell.He also recommends another technique that comes straight out of the  hostage negotiator playbook:  Active Listening.  Here’s Al:What I typically do with people is reflect back the emotion that they’re feeling. If they’re saying something like, “I’m Jesus Christ, and they’re trying to crucify me,” instead of saying, “No, you’re not Jesus Christ,” you say, “That must be pretty scary.” They’ll say, “Yeah!”  The act of listening is reflecting back the person’s emotional state, not necessarily the content of what they’re saying.(For more on how hostage negotiators use active listening and how you can get better at it, click  here.)They’re calm now. So how do you make sure you don’t blow it and end up back where you were?6.  Start sentences with  â€œI’d like…” not “You are…”Now that they’re being rational, the last thing you want to do is say  anything that sounds like an accusation. And they’re going to be extra sensitive to this because they just came down from feeling attacked.In his great book  Dinosaur Brains, Al says:Any sentence that begins with “you are” and does not end with “wonderful” will be experienced as name-calling.What you’re doing now is basically negotiating  so start your sentences with “I’d like…” Just stay awa y from the word “you” as much as possible. (Relationship expert  Dr. John Gottmanrecommends the same thing when romantic couples argue.)(For more on negotiation from FBI hostage negotiators, click  here.)You’re almost out of the woods. But there’s one last thing people often do that screws up everything and puts them back at square one…7. Let them have the last wordNeeding to have the last word is  like quitting at mile 26 of the marathon. You’ve done everything right up until now. Do not let your ego screw up everything  at the last minute.Just like explaining is actually an attempt at dominance, so is needing to have  the last word. You’re shifting your goal from “calming this situation” to “showing them who is right.”  Here’s Al:The last word is usually an attempt to be right. You can undo any positive thing you’ve done by saying one word that sends them  back into  attack mode.Don’t take the bait. Let them have the last word. Let them feel “right” if it lets you accomplish your real goal.(For more on how to win every argument, click  here.)This is a great system for dealing with difficult conversations. Let’s round it up and get Al’s thoughts on the single most important thing to do when having any type of discussion with people.Sum upHere are Al’s tips for turning difficult conversations into easy ones: Keep calm.  Don’t turn it into Godzilla vs. Rodan. (Samurai secrets of staying calm are  here.) Treat’em like a child.  You can’t talk them out of emotional outbursts and getting angry over it does nothing good. Say “Please speak more slowly. I’d like to help.”  Slow it down. Don’t come off like you’re fighting back. Ask “What would you like me to do?”  You gotta make’em start thinking  in order  turn off the rage machine. Don’t make statements. Ask questions.  Explaining is veiled dominance. Questions get them thinking. Start sentences with  â€œI’d like…” not “You are…”  If you start  with “I” it’s hard to be seen as attacking. Let them have the last word.  Don’t let your ego blow it at the last minute. So what does Al say is the single most important thing to do when dealing with people?When they speak, ask yourself  why  they’re saying what they’re saying. Think about what’s going on in their head, not yours. This leads away from judging and toward understanding and compassion.Here’s Al:If you want to get along well with people and understand what’s going on in situations, whenever somebody says something to you, ask yourself, “Why is he saying this to me? What’s going on with him?” That is a doorway to understanding, a doorway to getting what you want, and also a doorway to compassion. Rather than judging the person, try and understand them.Leave  â€œGodzilla Meets Rodan” for the movies. Our lives need more compassion and less of anything that levels Tokyo.In my  next weekly email  I’ll have more tips from Al on dealing with difficult bosses, crazy co-workers and what decades as a clinical psychologist have taught him is the secret to happiness. To get that  a nd more, sign up  here.Join over 151,000 readers.  Get a free weekly update via email  here.Related posts:6 Hostage Negotiation Techniques That Will Get You What You WantHow To Get People To Like You: 7 Ways From An FBI Behavior ExpertHow To Stop Being Lazy And Get More Done â€" 5 Expert TipsThis article originally appeared at Barking Up the Wrong Tree. 7 ways to make difficult conversations easy Someone is screaming in your face at the top of their lungs.  Or ranting angrily and you can’t get a word in edgewise. Or maybe they’re sobbing so hard  you can barely understand what they’re saying.We’ve all been there. These situations don’t happen a lot (thank god) but we all feel helpless when they do. And because they’re rare we don’t ever seem to get better at handling them.Problem is, these moments are often critical because they’re usually with people we care about.What’s the best way to handle these difficult conversations? What works?I called someone who knows:  Dr. Albert J. Bernstein.  He’s a clinical psychologist with over 40 years of experience and the author of a number of great books  on dealing with people problems:Dinosaur Brains: Dealing with All Those Impossible People at WorkAm I The Only Sane One Working Here?: 101 Solutions for Surviving Office InsanityEmotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You DryHere’s what you’ll learn in t his post: The magic phrase that gets people to stop yelling. How to stop making the most common mistake  in these kind of discussions. How to switch people from being emotional to being rational. The mindset  that makes dealing with hysterical people easy. And a lot more. Okay, time to wage war with the crazy. Here we go…1. First, you need to keep calmYou already have one person overreacting. The worst thing would be to have  two  people overreacting.  If you Hulk Out, it’s little  more than a screaming match and nothing gets accomplished.Al calls the emotional side of our mind  the “dinosaur brain.” It’s millions of years old and only understands “fight” or “run away.”If you stay calm, you can help someone escape  its grip. But if you fall prey to it too, it results in what he likes to call the “Godzilla meets Rodan” effect: lots of yelling, buildings get knocked down but nothing constructive gets accomplished.  Here’s Al:…the basic idea is that in many situations, you’re reacting with instincts programmed into your dinosaur brain, rather than thinking through a situation. If you’re in your dinosaur brain, you’re going to play out a 6 million-year-old program, and nothing good  is going to happen. In that case, the din osaur brain of the other person is going to understand that they are being attacked, and then you’re responding with fighting back or running away, and either one is going to escalate the situation into what I like to call the “Godzilla meets Rodan” effect. There’s a lot of screaming and yelling, and buildings fall down, but not much is accomplished.What to do here? Monitor your arousal levels  and do your best to stay calm. He said the same thing about dealing with stress that Harvard researcher  Shawn Achor  did:  see problems as challenges instead of crises.(To learn how Samurai and Navy SEALs keep calm in difficult situations, click  here.)Okay, you’re cool as Fonzie. But they’re still  acting crazy. What’s the best strategy here?2. Treat them like a childNo, I don’t mean be condescending. But  you wouldn’t try to rationalize with a screaming child. And you wouldn’t get angry with them for yelling. You’d just dismiss the hysterics and deal with the underlyi ng problem.Adults aren’t any different. (Yes, this is both very insightful and extraordinarily depressing.  Welcome to Earth.)Trying to logically explain why yelling isn’t helping doesn’t work with three-year-olds and it won’t work with grown-ups either. Ignore the drama.If you’re a parent, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Shift into  dealing-with-your-kid  mode and watch magic happen. Al literally says “If you feel like a preschool teacher, you’re probably doing it right.”  Here’s Al:People say to me all the time, “You mean I have to treat a grown-up like a three-year-old?” I say, “Yes, absolutely.” If you’re a parent, what do you do with a tantrum? You ignore it, or at least you try to ignore it. But with an adult you try and talk them out of it, and it never works.(To learn the ten rules to communicating more effectively, click  here.)So you’re calm and you’re not letting them get to you because you see them like a big kid. But how do you stop the yelling, crying or screaming?3.  â€œPlease speak more slowly. I’d like to help.”Anything that slows the situation down is good for you.One of Al’s first jobs was working with violently psychotic people in an institution. He quickly realized that slow means calm and calm means thinking vs reacting.(What’s interesting is my friend  Chris, who was the Lead International Hostage Negotiator for the FBI, often recommends  the same thing:  slow the conversation down.)So how do you get someone to stop yelling? Your natural reaction is actually the  worst thing to do. Saying,  â€œStop yelling” will be seen as telling them what to do. Nobody likes to be told what to do, especially angry people.Instead,  Al says  try a variation of:  â€œPlease speak more slowly. I’d like to help.”Why does this work?  It breaks the pattern in their head.They’re expecting you to resist them but you’re not. You’re asking them to clarify. You’re interested. This makes them shift mor e out of “dinosaur brain” and into thinking. And that’s good.(And have you ever tried yelling slowly? Good luck with that.)The same principle  works on the phone too: you want to snap  them out of that pattern without being seen as fighting back.  Al calls it the “uh-huh rule.”When they pause to take a breath on the phone, don’t say anything. After enough silence, they’ll probably respond with, “Are you there?”That speedbump pulls them out of the angry momentum for a second and makes them think practically.  Here’s Al:When somebody is talking to you on the phone and they stop to take a breath, your natural reaction is to say, “uh-huh.” It’s kind of a universal thing. We don’t realize that we’re doing it. But if you go three breaths without saying “uh-huh”, the other person will stop and say, “Are you there?” We tried that so many times, and it was just amazing how well it worked. What I’ve just given you there is a way to interrupt somebody wh o’s yelling at you on the phone without saying a word. Just don’t say “uh-huh.”(For tips from an FBI behavioral expert on how to make people like you, click  here.)They’re not yelling anymore. But that doesn’t mean they’re not angry and it doesn’t mean you’re making any real progress.  What turns  raving crazy people into rational adults you can talk to?4.  Ask “What would you like me to do?”Slowing it down is great. And so is seeing them as a child. What’s the next big strategy? You need to get them thinking.Anything that moves  them from emotionally reacting to consciously thinking is good.  Here’s Al:When people are angry at you or attacking you, it’s very easy to fight back or run away, but  what you really need to do is something that engages their brain.And  that isn’t too hard, actually. Ask them, “What would you like me to do?”They need to formulate an answer. That makes them think - even for a second - and you’re on your way to turning the Hulk back into Bruce Banner.  Here’s Al:Once you get the person to stop yelling, you say, “What would you like me to do?” The person has to stop and think at that point. What you want is to move an angry situation toward the possibility of negotiating. You can do that by simply asking, “What would you like me to do?” It moves them from their dinosaur brain to their cortex, and then negotiating is possible.(For more on dealing with irrational, angry or just plain crazy people, click  here.)You’re calm. They’re not yelling and they’re starting to think instead of just acting like an emotional grenade. So how do you keep things moving in the right direction?5. Don’t make statements. Ask questions.Another huge, huge error we all make: we explain.  Don’t explain.  Why?The other person will interpret it as a veiled form of fighting back. You know why? Because it  is  a veiled form of fighting back.It’s the polite way of saying, “Here’s why I’m right and you ’re wrong.” And  everybody sees it for what it is. So cut it out.  Here’s Al:Explaining is almost always a disguised form of fighting back. Most explanations will be heard as, “See here, if you really understand the situation, you will see that I am right and you are wrong.” That is an attack, and it’s also one of the ways we achieve dominance over other people. We act as if we just explain our position really clearly, then the other person will understand and agree with us. I’ve never really seen that work.So what do you do?  Ask questions.  Here’s Al:One of the main rules that I say to people is  if you want to get along with people, ask don’t tell.He also recommends another technique that comes straight out of the  hostage negotiator playbook:  Active Listening.  Here’s Al:What I typically do with people is reflect back the emotion that they’re feeling. If they’re saying something like, “I’m Jesus Christ, and they’re trying to crucify me,” instead of saying, “No, you’re not Jesus Christ,” you say, “That must be pretty scary.” They’ll say, “Yeah!”  The act of listening is reflecting back the person’s emotional state, not necessarily the content of what they’re saying.(For more on how hostage negotiators use active listening and how you can get better at it, click  here.)They’re calm now. So how do you make sure you don’t blow it and end up back where you were?6.  Start sentences with  â€œI’d like…” not “You are…”Now that they’re being rational, the last thing you want to do is say  anything that sounds like an accusation. And they’re going to be extra sensitive to this because they just came down from feeling attacked.In his great book  Dinosaur Brains, Al says:Any sentence that begins with “you are” and does not end with “wonderful” will be experienced as name-calling.What you’re doing now is basically negotiating  so start your sentences with “I’d like…” Just stay awa y from the word “you” as much as possible. (Relationship expert  Dr. John Gottmanrecommends the same thing when romantic couples argue.)(For more on negotiation from FBI hostage negotiators, click  here.)You’re almost out of the woods. But there’s one last thing people often do that screws up everything and puts them back at square one…7. Let them have the last wordNeeding to have the last word is  like quitting at mile 26 of the marathon. You’ve done everything right up until now. Do not let your ego screw up everything  at the last minute.Just like explaining is actually an attempt at dominance, so is needing to have  the last word. You’re shifting your goal from “calming this situation” to “showing them who is right.”  Here’s Al:The last word is usually an attempt to be right. You can undo any positive thing you’ve done by saying one word that sends them  back into  attack mode.Don’t take the bait. Let them have the last word. Let them feel “right” if it lets you accomplish your real goal.(For more on how to win every argument, click  here.)This is a great system for dealing with difficult conversations. Let’s round it up and get Al’s thoughts on the single most important thing to do when having any type of discussion with people.Sum upHere are Al’s tips for turning difficult conversations into easy ones: Keep calm.  Don’t turn it into Godzilla vs. Rodan. (Samurai secrets of staying calm are  here.) Treat’em like a child.  You can’t talk them out of emotional outbursts and getting angry over it does nothing good. Say “Please speak more slowly. I’d like to help.”  Slow it down. Don’t come off like you’re fighting back. Ask “What would you like me to do?”  You gotta make’em start thinking  in order  turn off the rage machine. Don’t make statements. Ask questions.  Explaining is veiled dominance. Questions get them thinking. Start sentences with  â€œI’d like…” not “You are…”  If you start  with “I” it’s hard to be seen as attacking. Let them have the last word.  Don’t let your ego blow it at the last minute. So what does Al say is the single most important thing to do when dealing with people?When they speak, ask yourself  why  they’re saying what they’re saying. Think about what’s going on in their head, not yours. This leads away from judging and toward understanding and compassion.Here’s Al:If you want to get along well with people and understand what’s going on in situations, whenever somebody says something to you, ask yourself, “Why is he saying this to me? What’s going on with him?” That is a doorway to understanding, a doorway to getting what you want, and also a doorway to compassion. Rather than judging the person, try and understand them.Leave  â€œGodzilla Meets Rodan” for the movies. Our lives need more compassion and less of anything that levels Tokyo.In my  next weekly email  I’ll have more tips from Al on dealing with difficult bosses, crazy co-workers and what decades as a clinical psychologist have taught him is the secret to happiness. To get that  a nd more, sign up  here.Join over 151,000 readers.  Get a free weekly update via email  here.Related posts:6 Hostage Negotiation Techniques That Will Get You What You WantHow To Get People To Like You: 7 Ways From An FBI Behavior ExpertHow To Stop Being Lazy And Get More Done â€" 5 Expert TipsThis article originally appeared at Barking Up the Wrong Tree.

How to cover for a work colleague the right way

How to cover for a work colleague the right way How to cover for a work colleague the right way When your colleague asks if you can cover for them while they are out of the office, think carefully before saying yes. In a recent OnePoll  survey of 2,000 Americans for Nugg, more than half of participants said that covering for a coworker was a “significantly stressful event.”Why do we do it at all then? Sometimes, out of the goodness of our hearts, but more likely, because we see the favor as transactional. We hope that the favor will be returned one day when we find ourselves scrambling for coverage. Covering for someone’s work does not need to be a nightmare, though. There is a happy medium that can be achieved once you recognize that coverage does not mean doing two people’s full jobs at maximum productivity. Here’s how to take on someone else’s workload without losing your mind:Know your limitsForty percent of the survey respondents admitted that when they covered for a colleague, they phoned in their work and did not care if the job was done well.   Poorly done w ork reflects poorly on you, and looks bad for the team. If you know the work is going to be done badly, you should be respectful of your colleague and ask them to pick someone else. But if you think you can handle the extra work, do it while accepting the reality of your situation. You are one employee with human limitations. Acknowledging that it is okay to not get deadlines done at the same level as two people working on it can is part of what will make the experience less stressful for you.Get clarity from your colleague about expectationsIs your colleague’s away message directing clients your way? Do you know where important documents needed for projects are located? You need to know what your colleague is telling other people by asking them about what responsibilities they want you to take on. How do they produce and organize work? Your workflow may look entirely different than your coworker’s.Before the colleague becomes unreachable out of the office, sit down with them an d have a frank conversation about priorities. Your colleagues are usually not monsters who want to ruin your day. They know that you are doing them a favor. More than half - 56 percent of respondents - said they felt guilty that workloads had to fall on a coworker when they were out of office. In other words, your colleague is likely to be on your side about making the transition smooth and less cumbersome for you.PrioritizeWhen you are covering for a colleague, you are in survival mode. You do not want to be in the office too late every night. You need to be practical about what you will be able to accomplish in a day. To avoid resentment and burnout, talk to your colleague about the critical tasks that must get done while they are gone.Ask a Manager’s Alison Green advises  employees to figure out what must get done over what would be nice if it got done: “Find out what the top things that  must  be kept moving while they’re away are, such as responding to urgent queries fr om clients or finishing a report.  Also, make sure that they leave behind important contact info, walk you through any processes that you’re not familiar with, and fill you in on the context for things that you might need to deal with while they’re away.  â€Don’t be afraid to ask for more helpIf the temporary absence turns into an unexpectedly long one, you may need to call in reinforcements. You do not want to burn yourself out doing two jobs at once indefinitely.If you feel overwhelmed, talk to your higher-ups about getting help. As time management coach Elizabeth Grace Saunders advises, “See if a boss can cover a few responsibilities, if a coworker can take notes for you at meetings so that you don’t need to attend, if direct reports can take on more of the day-to-day tasks, or if you can get some contract or temp help.”Sit down with your boss if you notice your work is suffering. Ask another colleague if they can take on some of the higher priorities too. Covering f or a colleague means letting other people know about your increased workload so that they know when your limit is being reached.

6 Unconventional Icebreakers for Networking Events

6 Unconventional Icebreakers for Networking Events 6 Unconventional Icebreakers for Networking Events 6 Unconventional Networking Icebreakers for Your Next Networking Event Don’t blend into the crowd at your next event. Instead, stand out with these unconventional networking icebreakers! The hardest part of a networking event is drumming up the courage to sign up, get dressed, and make yourself get out the door. At least, that's the truth for some people. For others, the hard part doesn't come until you're there and faced with dozens if not hundreds of strangers. You're supposed to talk to them, but how? If you've ever done the simple Hi and handshake followed by 10 seconds of awkwardness, you probably won't be looking forward to that. There have to be some better approaches, right? Luckily, there are. If Hi and a handshake work for you, no problem; you're a networking natural. If, however, you feel like you need an alternate approach to start and get a conversation flowing, these eight unconventional networking icebreakers may be for you. 1. Card tricks Really? Card tricks as an icebreaker? Yes, I've seen this one in use. If you know a little magic or some simple card tricks, this can be an easy opener. Hi. Pick a card! You'll want to keep it simple so you can finish the trick and move the conversation forward. It's likely that the next words will be How did you learn to do that? or How did you do that? Just like that, you have a topic of conversation. You'll want to read the crowd a little before doing this, however. Not everyone is going to like a magic trick as a networking icebreaker. Look for people who are laughing, smiling, and seem relaxed. Tip: Avoid any tricks that involve touching the other person (Hey, there's something behind your ear!) or using something of theirs as a prop they have no reason to trust you yet. 2. Come ready with trivia Just about everyone is fascinated by little bits of knowledge when they're relevant. Do a little research before your event to find some great material. Here are a couple of ideas: Facts about the city where you're meeting. How was it settled? What's the biggest money-making product? Is there a famous person in history who was born there? What building/business is hosting the event. Dig into the history and see if there are some great tidbits to share. Keep an eye on the news. Maybe there's a great nugget beyond those headlines you can share. Trivia is a great way to show that you can hold your own in a conversation and that you have some intelligence. Did you know that this building was completely burned down by the Great Chicago Fire? They rebuilt it in brick so that wouldn't happen again! Tip: Practice your delivery. You want to sound fun and conversational, not like a know-it-all. 3. Give a compliment Who doesn't like to receive a well-placed compliment? If you see a person that you'd like to talk to, look for anything that stands out in your eyes. Is she wearing really great shoes? Does he have a cool tie clip? Phone? Glasses? If they are wearing or carrying something that really jumps out to you, it's likely that they want it to have that effect. You don't have to go into detail. Just smile and say I really like your glasses or whatever it is you want to compliment. This will naturally lead to conversation about where they got the item and possibly a return compliment. Boom the ice is broken. Don't believe me? It's been proven that receiving a compliment gives people the same sort of joy as being handed cash. That's powerful stuff! Tip: Stick to items like accessories or phones. Don't compliment anyone on their overall appearance or any body parts. Even complimenting a smile or eyes will come across like a pickup line. Related:Fresh Networking Conversation Starters for Your Next Holiday Party 4. Ask for advice These networking icebreakers are especially easy if your event has a buffet or a drink menu. I've never been here before. What's their specialty? or I'd like to try something new. What's your favorite? can start off a conversation because there's always the chance that the person you ask is in the same boat as you. By asking, you've bridged the gap and now you have something to talk about. Perhaps you can discover what's on the menu together. Asking for help or advice makes you immediately approachable because you're putting the other person in a position of power. You're acknowledging that you think they know more than you about something. Everyone likes that. Tip: Keep it simple. Ask a question relevant to the situation you're in, which is a networking event. Don't open with Should I have a 401K or an IRA? and stay away from personal advice like Is this a good color for me? Way too awkward. 5. Out-of-the-box question You have to be a fairly outgoing person for these networking icebreakers, but you'll really hear some interesting things if you do. If you start out with Where do you work? or What do you do? you'll get the same stale, rehearsed answer that the other person has already given to a bunch of others at the event. But if you spring something new on them, you just might shock them into a smile. Hi. What's your guilty-pleasure song? Mine's 'MmmBop'! Okay, that might be bit extreme, but in one fell swoop, you've surprised them. Studies have shown that people like to be surprised and it works great as a marketing tool. By adding your own guilty-pleasure song (or whatever you're asking), you've removed the pressure. They don't have to worry about being mocked for their answer because it's not going to be sillier than MmmBop! is it? If you're not quite that brave, make it easier with something like What's your favorite movie? Tip: It's a fine line between surprise and shock. Keep it light and fun. Music, books, TV, and films are easy targets. Politics and religion should be strictly off limits. 6. Show your crazy side For this one, you may not have to say anything at all. Most networking events have name tags, right? Think about something fun and crazy that you've done. Have you bungee jumped off a bridge? Did you ride an ostrich in a race? Were you on a game show? If you have anything cool, fun, and surprising on your life's resume, simply write it on your name tag: Travis Davis Communications Specialist. I ran with the bulls! If you saw that name tag at an event, wouldn't you want to talk to Travis and hear about running with the bulls? It doesn't have to be anything grand, but it does have to be interesting. This networking icebreaking trick is extra effective because you're putting the ball in the other person's court. As they're wandering around wondering how to talk to people, they'll see your name tag. You just gave them the perfect opener. Tip: Stick to the fun and crazy. This isn't confession time: Travis Davis Communications Specialist. I once snuck into Disney World after hours! may be a fun story but not for strangers. Remember, most of the people at your networking event are in the same boat as you. They're all hoping to break the ice and meet people, and most of them aren't sure how to do it. If you do a little prep-work beforehand, you can make it easier for everyone. Not only will it make it easier for you to make some new contacts, but you'll also be memorable; that's a big win at any networking event. Click on the following link for more networking advice. Is your resume ready for your next networking event? We can check with our free resume critique! Recommended Reading: The Ultimate Networking Guide for Introverts Career Quiz: What Networking Type Best Fits Your Personality? Taking Your Professional Network from 0 to 60 in Record Time

What Every Employee Needs to Know About the Future of Background Screening

What Every Employee Needs to Know About the Future of Background Screening What Every Employee Needs to Know About the Future of Background Screening Whether you are interviewing for full-time jobs or workers from the gig economy, there is a good chance background checks are going to figure into your professional future. Background screening - both as a pre-employment due diligence measure and a post-employment monitoring technique- is evolving fast. Being cognizant of the trends and changes in background screening will help you prepare for your next job interview and understand what your current employees are thinking. Here are four background check trends that every employee and prospective employee needs to know. For a long time, businesses used nontraditional methods to screen and vet nontraditional workers. Detailed background checks were essential for full-time workers, a little less common for part-timers, and virtually unheard of for contract employees. As the gig economy grows , this habit is dying out. Businesses are increasingly coming to terms with the importance of having freelancers on their teams. They are also starting to recognize that freelancers are still representatives and ambassadors for their brand- even if they are a little more removed from the business than full-time workers. According to Intuit, gig workers are expected to make up 43 percent of the workforce by 2020. As the freelancing trend continues to spike, more and more employers are running full-fledged background checks on contract workers. Bottom line, if you are part of the gig economy, you should expect to submit to background screenings to land freelance jobs. These screenings could include anything from criminal history checks to educational verifications. They will likely get more detailed as the gig economy continues to grow. Depending on where you live, you may have already noticed this trend: more and more employers are removing questions about criminal history from job applications . Some companies are doing it voluntarily, but most have been spurred by a legislative movement called “ban the box.” Ban the box policies are intended to reduce employment discrimination against ex-criminal offenders. By removing the criminal history question from job applications and delaying the background check until after a conditional offer has been made, these policies seek to help ex-offenders get a fair chance at employment. According to the National Employment Law Project, 29 states and more than 150 cities and counties have adopted ban the box policies . Some of these laws and ordinances only apply to public (i.e., government) jobs. Others, like a policy on the books in Los Angeles, apply to public and private employers alike. You can click here to find out whether your city, state, or county has a ban the box policy. Even if it doesn’t, it will only be a matter of time before ban the box is the rule rather than the exception. Virtually all employers have adopted pre-employment background check policies. Companies are split when it comes to screening current personnel. Some require existing employees to update their background checks every five years or so. Others use continuous screening to get real-time alerts when a current employee is convicted of a crime. Over the next few years, it’s likely that employers are going to come to a consensus on how to screen existing employees. What that consensus will be remains to be seen: it could be an every-five-years policy, an annual background check policy, a semi-annual policy, or a continuous real-time monitoring policy. In any case, job seekers and employees should know that what they do after they get hired is going to matter just as much as what they do before they get hired. “Social media background checks” are sketchy from an administrative standpoint. Employers like to look at Facebook, Twitter, and other social networks to learn more about what their candidates are like in real life. However, findings on these fronts are often misleading, out of context, and based on assumptions. Worse, social accounts can reveal personal, potentially bias-creating information- such as sexual orientation, gender identification, race, religion, nationality, and political affiliation- that employers cannot use in employment decisions. CareerBuilder statistics show that social media background checks are 500% more common than they were a decade ago. As there is still no law or EEOC/FCRA guideline that prohibits or restricts social media screenings, they are likely to remain common for the foreseeable future. Some employers are changing how they use social media screenings. Some use third-party businesses to do the social media search, requesting reports that exclude information that might create unintentional bias or discrimination. In other cases, a hiring manager might ask an employee or HR rep not involved with the hiring decision to do the social media check. Employees and job searchers should be aware that companies are looking at what they do online. Ramping up your privacy settings and thinking more critically about the things you post will help you avoid trouble. You may also want to go back through older posts and photographs and delete anything potential employers or current bosses might find objectionable. As you get ready to start your job search, know that employers aren’t changing their practices because of you. While three of the four trends listed above emphasize employers’ desire to learn more about their workers and candidates, those policy shifts aren’t personal. Instead, businesses are ramping up their employee screening strategies to safeguard their brands, their reputations, their existing employees, and their customer base. As a job seeker or employee, the best strategy is to be honest, forthright, and amenable to all employer requests. Many employers are willing to overlook past mistakes, but almost none will overlook dishonesty. Michael Klazema has been developing products for criminal background check and improving online customer experiences in the background screening industry since 2009. He is the lead author and editor for Backgroundchecks.com . He lives in Dallas, TX with his family and enjoys the rich culinary histories of various old and new world countries.